No Shirt No Shoes No Stem Cells

One of the most egregious aspects of a stem cell transplant is the risk of Graft Versus Host Disease: GVHD. It occurs when the T-cells in the donated marrow/stem cells don't realize that they are in a new body, so they set about attacking your entire system as a foreign invader. It is the horrifying and painful result of the bone marrow rejecting YOU, rather than the opposite which is the case with organ transplants. It is a huge risk of transplants, and in many cases these days with all of the medical progress, it is sometimes damn near the only major risk of a transplant. There is a 50% chance of getting it, nothing predicts who will be spared, and it can be either acute or chronic. Neither is fun, but chronic can be horrifying, often creating a new reality in which you have simply traded one disease for another, more debilitating one. It's a cruel irony to suddenly have functioning bone marrow but to have it lobbing IEDs at you nonstop. GVHD can bring about liver failure, kidney failure, scleroderma, constant insanity-inducing itching, inability to keep eyes moist, the list goes on and on. Needless to say, GVHD is the thing I pray most about these days. I have almost no fear of the transplant itself (stupidly?), but I massively fear the GVHD. It continues to be the most challenging aspect of any successful transplant, with researchers around the world trying to eradicate or minimize it, with limited success. One thing they do know that can cause it to occur, even years later, is sun exposure.

Which brings me to the second most egregious aspect of the transplant: the lack of appropriate yet cool/sassy clothing. I anticipate 100+ days of shut in-ness, save for hospital outpatient visits, with the notion that I'll be in sweatpants and "comfortable clothing," for obvious reasons. I'll have a Hickman catheter, so my clothing options will be limited. (A Hickman is a central line into the jugular vein that is inserted at the shoulder and exits out between the nipple and the sternum. It allows them to give you meds and take blood without having to put a needle in your nonexistent veins a thousand times. It sounds gross because it is. More on that later...)

During that time, and pretty much for the rest of my life thereafter I will not be able to be in the sun without massive sunscreen, long sleeves and every inch of my body, including feet and fingers, protected from the sun either by clothing or copious sunscreen. It sounds effing miserable, and then I think about my skin hardening and my liver failing from sunlight-induced GVHD, and I realize that going for an autumn hike in the forest can be just as much fun as lying on a beach in summer, so I'll get over it for the sake of having a life.

All of which means my fashion desires are being frustrated at every turn. Because I'll have the Hickman (and because I'll not be in top form physically) and will need to stay sun-safe, I'll need long sleeve button-down shirts and t-shirts so they can access the Hickman ports, as well as cute shoes that can't be flip flops to cover my feet. Bah. So I'm on the lookout for funny and cute shoes and shirts that will make me feel cheery when I'm bummed that I can't put on my sun dress and go to a cookout; I'll just put on my electric yellow shoes, crazy t-shirt and laugh myself silly.

I already scored me the shoes from landsend.com:


So, what tees should I get?