Aesthetic Health

Are you as sick of people commenting on your pallor/weight gain-loss/overall appearance as I am? Well-meaning people can be incredibly rude. More dangerously, they can rob you of your positivity and good spirits. There are days when I feel great, only to have my bubble burst by someone who feels compelled to tell me: “you need a tan! It’s August!” “Wow! You are so pale!” or my personal favorite, “You look tired.” It creates worry, forcing me to wonder if maybe I should feel sicker than I do, based on nothing more than their opinion of my appearance. I wonder if my counts have perhaps dropped and they have noticed something I haven’t. To be sure, we can’t really stop the rude ones from commenting, but we can take evasive action to feel and look our best so that their comments will be less likely and will have less impact.

EP’s Beauty Tips for Fantastic Aplastics:

1) Mystic Tan. Hands down the best money I have ever spent. Seriously. For anyone who is looking for a little pick-me-up, this is the thing. Your spray tan booth may go by a different name, but trust me: you will never spend a more worthwhile dollar in your life.

If you are not so much of a get-nekkid and stand in a booth kind of person, may I recommend Elizabeth Arden self-tanner? It’s about $20 a bottle, but it’s the most natural-looking tan I’ve had out of a bottle (and I, your humble servant, have tried countless…). For everyday use or for special occasions, it can give you just the right amount of healthy glow to carry you through social situations where you want to look as “normal” as possible.

2) Origins Pinch-My-Cheeks. Wow! This is the BEST invention since epo, neupo, cyclosporine and stem cell transplantations. It comes in a tiny silver tube, goes on smoothly, and gives you (even men) a nice rosy-cheeked look. I apply it to cheeks, nose, forehead and the tops of my hands for a natural look. It looks especially fantastic over the self-tanner. You’ll never need blush again. It goes on and stays on till you wash it off (which also means that you need to wash your hands after applying it, or use a makeup sponge to avoid red fingertips).

3) Another fantastic rosy cheek faker is BeneTint cheek stain. It is more liquid than Pinch My Cheeks and therefore better if meds are giving you dry skin issues. This stuff ROCKS. I put it on under a little foundation, then add some more from the apples of the cheeks to the hairline. It also works on those pale pink lips to make them look more normal. I got mine as sephora. If there isn't one near you, go to sephora.com.

4) Revlon glowtion. Perfect for those red, veiny eyelids that invite those “you look tired” comments. Apply with a light hand some eyeliner and mascara, and your eyes become the natural-looking focal point of your face.

5) Red lipstick. Warning! You must go to a good department store or cosmetic store and have a reputable person choose the right shade of red for your skin tone. Do NOT think you can do this alone; it can easily turn into a disaster of red-light district or barnum-and-bailey proportions! I was gifted by a lovely woman a splurgey orange-based red from Chanel, which brightens my whole face and gives me that Gwyneth Paltrow-Nicole Kidman-Insert Name of Fair Skinned Celebrity feeling. Be sure to minimize the eye makeup when wearing this lipstick; pick eyes or lips to enhance but never both.

6) Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Face Wash. If your meds are causing high school-worthy zits, head straight to the drug store to buy this product. It is the wonder cleanser. Don’t waste your cash on expensive or harsh formulas. This cost me about $4. Whatta bargain! Remember: clear skin, whether pale or otherwise, is always a healthy look.